Chances are you have made New Year's Resolutions this new year. Chances also are you are just as excited and determined to meet them as you were the year before when you set them… And the year before that. Because it’s likely that this is not the first time you are making these resolutions. To lose weight, escape your 9-5, make more money, have a morning routine, fall in love, and so on… Year after year you begin with a high level of motivation and drive, to be different, to do different.
Secretly living a “new year new me” lifestyle whilst publicly mocking the concept on social media!
And year after year, you find that you don’t meet the resolution. The disappointment that fills you when once again you fail to meet it is unfortunately familiar, and it stings. Bleak, isn’t it?
Unfortunately so. Statistics show that 80% of people will have broken their new year’s resolutions by February. Doesn’t look good!
But do not fear! This blog post will allow you to ‘disaster-proof’ your New Year’s resolution, by highlighting the red flags. If you ensure that your resolution is not hindered by one of these 5 things, you are halfway on the road to success:
1. Your lens is stopping you Ever been to a crazy mirrors house at a fun fair, where everything is distorted? And you look at yourself in the mirror and notice that you look wildly different to what you thought you did? Well that is the same in our lives. The lens with which we view the world is formed by our past experiences. And so without you even knowing your view of the world could be wildly distorted, which could hinder your resolution progress.
Because if deep down you don’t see how it can be possible to love your work and earn 6 figures, then it won't be possible for you. Your lens, and view of the world will confirm your reality.
If you’re convinced that you’ll never truly be able to lose the extra weight, and you must just be big boned, then overweight you will remain. If you believe that no one can truly love you once they know you, then you will attract toxic partners in your life. Whatever that false belief is, if it is believed for too long, it will keep you from achieving your resolution.
2. You’re not actually emotionally tied to the goal itself You’ve either set it because everyone sets resolutions, or you’ve set it as a veiled attempt to achieve another goal. Let me give you an example. Becoming vegan to lose weight will work in the short term, but it won't work beyond your willpower. So it is unlikely that you will remain vegan in the face of true temptation, if your goal isn’t honestly to stop eating meat and meat products. There is an inherent problem when you do not have a strong WHY connected to your resolution- meaning you do not have a strong reason to achieve what you wish. This is because you won't have any incentive to stick to your resolution when the going gets tough. Goal identification is one of the first things I do with my 1-2-1 clients. Digging to the real ‘goal behind the goal’, which involves stress testing the goal through different methods, and performing what I call a ‘root goal analysis’ as that can really trip you up along the road. Honesty with resolutions, as with everything else, is the best policy. If what you truly want is to fit back into your skinny jeans, it is okay to say so!
3. Your bad habits are serving you Everything in your life is there for a reason. And believe it or not, it is there because you have allowed it to remain there. Similarly every bad habit is actually there trying to help you! Stick with me on this one. You see the almost unstoppable sugar monster that comes to roam after dinner? It’s trying to help you forget your stressful day at work. It is there because to serve you, to act as a de-stressor. Even if your resolution is to eat less sugar. Similarly, your bingeing or late night snacking is trying to help you escape, and feel good. Your Netflix addiction is allowing you to escape your boredom. Your scrolling through Instagram is feeding your need for a quick dopamine hit, and get validation. The worst thing is that these protection mechanisms actually do work. They solve the pain temporarily, even if it creates more pain later on. So it is very hard to remove them. Instead, you have to replace them. That is why in the 90 day 1-2-1 program I have with my clients, day 30-60 are focused on your habits, and my special 3 step S-P-A treatment to building good habits and breaking bad habits.
4. You’re doing too much at once Having 10 resolutions and trying to juggle them all at the same time is a surefire way to fail. You are more likely to get resolution fatigue and give up before the month is through. Instead: Practice my 1% rule.
Make it your goal to improve 1% at a time.
That is the lifestyle change methodology I take my private clients through. Week by week we look to make 1% improvements in your overall lifestyle. Every week, I design a 1% aggregate improvement detailed lifestyle schedule per week. We may focus on exercise one week. Mindfulness the next. The shifts are done over time so they are not a great burden to you. However, after a year, you would be living a lifestyle that is 52% better than the one you are currently living. The gradual improvements also prevent relapses and binges!
5. You have a secret saboteur This last point is something a lot of people miss. They don’t question why they always quit their diets after 2 weeks. Or why they cannot hold a relationship for longer than 6 months. Having a unhealthy pattern you simply cannot break away from is a sign of a secret saboteur working in your life. These things and more are signs of a secret saboteur working in your life, behind the scenes. It is a pattern, rooted in your psyche working behind the scenes to sabotage your progress. If you do not identify, and eliminate this saboteur, you will never be able to achieve your resolution, as your saboteur will keep getting in the way and tripping you up. However, don’t despair! I’ve created a mini e-book which will help you identify your secret saboteur. You can download this for free on my home page (scroll to the bottom!), and I also have a webinar called “Identify and Eliminate your saboteur” on Saturday 26th January 2019 at 2pm GMT, which will help you eliminate your secret saboteur for good.
Disaster proof your resolutions this year by making sure that they do not contain any of the above. Don’t suffer in silence- if you routinely find it hard to meet your resolutions, there are tons of free resources you can make use of on my site! Let’s make our resolutions happen in 2019!